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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25793755">another love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifamlove/pseuds/multifamlove'>multifamlove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dead To Me (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Domestic Fluff, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Family Angst, Family Fluff, Fluff, Heartbreak, Mutual Pinning, Yearning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:27:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25793755</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifamlove/pseuds/multifamlove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In another universe Jen Harding had a wife named Mia (Melissa Roxburgh who is her face claim)who she later divorced, this is the story of their struggles with both love and loss, and how they met.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jen Harding/ Mia Harding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jen and Mia had met in high school, they were enemies who after getting their problems behind them, became friends, after high school ended they lost touch, but one night for them changed everything for them and determined their future. It made them and their relationship, they knew they’d fight for a relationship with each other, they just didn’t know if it could make or break them. </p><p>A couple years after high school Jen and Mia reconnected, they were both bad off, but that night changed them. They both were at the bar, drinking away their problems, but Mia noticed Jen immediately and walked over to her, ‘Jen?!’ the blonde said happily, Jen noticed how Mia was wearing a flannel and everything about her outfit was extremely gay, but she brushed it off and didn’t assume things about her. ‘Mia?!’ Jen said happily since she has never reconnected with anyone from high school, so it was new and she had just turned 24 and Mia was 23. ‘Can I sit with you?!’ Mia said getting close to the bar, ‘of course!!’ Jen answered without hesitating, Mia asked for a beer and immediately looked at Jen, ‘so how’s everything been?!’ she said questioning her, ‘well if you want a genuine answer, pretty fucking shitty’ Jen said sighing, ‘same here’ Mia said, letting down her walls for once, ‘on a different note, do you have any boyfriend or girlfriend?’ Mia asked curiously while drinking her beer, ‘no girlfriend sadly’ Jen answered afraid Mia would judge her for being a lesbian who has dealt with compulsory heterosexuality in the past, ‘oh, I didn’t know you were a lesbian, I’m proud of you Jen’ Mia said kindly, ‘thanks, but how about you, no boyfriend or girlfriend?’ Jen said asking, ‘no girlfriend sadly’ Mia admitted, after coming out to each other they talked more about their lives and got a little bit drunk. </p><p>After they both feeling a little tipsy Mia decided to ask Jen to dance, by which they both did, they danced close to each other, you could cut the tension with a knife, and as they danced more they got closer to each other, them being tipsy it let to them kissing, but that night lead to more than just that as this was just the start of everything.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. we can’t do this</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the beginning of what Jen and Mia start to become.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After an amazing night, Mia and Jen woke up next to each other, naked, not remembering at all what had happened the night before, they were drunk enough the night before to not remember at all of what might have happened and if they did, it was a foggy memory. The events of what had happened left them both with a pounding headache, which was unexpected, but what more did they expect. </p>
<p>Jen woke up first, she panicked, and she had two boys at home, Henry and Charlie, they weren’t old enough to take care of themselves, Charlie was 6, but Henry was 4, Jen had her two boys from another relationship and ended up with full custody of them both, which she was happy about, but she never would want her reckless behavior. Jen had Charlie at 18 and Henry at 20, she was already a mother and was thinking about her kids. </p>
<p>‘Oh my god?!?!’ Jen said in a panic, ‘I have to get home’ she said, getting up quickly, Mia woke up immediately, ‘did we??’ she said questioning from what happened the night before, ‘yes, we did, now I need to get home before my kids wake up!’ Jen said, panicking while getting herself dressed, ‘last night was a mistake’ Jen said, leaving, having Mia feel terrible about herself because she didn’t remember a lot of what they did the night before. Mia felt horrible, but she loved Jen, she was just scared about what would happen if she told her how she felt, she didn’t want to ruin anything. </p>
<p>Jen ran out, leaving Mia in their room alone to think about what could have happened that night. She cried and felt bad about herself, but her feelings for Jen just didn’t fade away. Mia loved her, and so did Jen, but admitting their feelings for each other might be the hardest thing they’ll ever be able to do.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I love you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After Jen walked out on Mia, it became the start of what their relationship began to be.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day Jen left Mia after the morning after they slept together, it left them questioning what their relationship may be. They both had feelings for each other that they were scared to admit, and after having sex together it brought those feelings out more than they planned. What they had was real, not just something you could hide like emotions, they were in love with each other. Admitting those types of feelings wasn't their thing, even if they had a drunken night and kissed. They were enemies in high school because they couldn't be with each other, which messed things up for them, but it was a risk they would take.</p><p>They didn't talk for two weeks, for them it felt like months. Being away from each other was draining, they always were thinking about each other, just too scared to call or text one another, because talking to each other, admitting those feelings, that was the scariest thing to them. Mia didn't wanna wait any longer and texted Jen 'can I come over?', Jen had been waiting for that text, not even thinking she replied yes, not knowing that would be a life changing decision, one of which she was willing to make. </p><p>Mia got there eventually and walked in Jen's home ready to say how she felt, 'Jen, I have feelings for you, feelings I bottled up over the years that I just can't handle anymore' Mia said, her voice trembling, 'I can't keep doing this, I can't keep acting like when I look at you the whole world doesn't just go away!' she said, letting her feelings out for Jen to know how she truly felt, 'I'm in love with you Mia, I always have been, I was just too scared to say how I felt about you because I never wanted to ruin anything with you' Jen said, scared of what could happen, Mia had started crying, 'can you get over here and just kiss me already?' Mia said, trying to fight the love she had for Jen, without questions asked, they kissed, having it be both a deep kiss, but an emotional one. Mia pulled away slowly, smiling, 'so I guess this makes us official?' she asked, smiling like a dork, 'yes, yes it does' Jen said, smiling brightly, 'well, since you're officially my girlfriend, can I kiss your beautiful face again?' Mia said cutely and in love with the blonde, who truly made her happy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. little red dress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jen and Mia go to a ball together, one events leads to another.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A couple weeks after Jen and Mia started dating, Mia was invited to the snow ball from her job, saying she could bring her girlfriend made her extremely happy, seeing as it was the first event she could take Jen to, Mia had already talked to her mom about babysitting the boys that night so she wasn't worried, even though Mia as a person didn't feel like much of a mother to Henry and Charlie, but she tried her best, seeing as she never had it easy growing up and knew how Jen had lost her mom. They made it easy to love each other, easy to open up, and could be themselves. Being there for each other wasn't a hard task, they were up for it but not ready for what they could endure in the future.  </p><p>On that night, Mia's mom came over to babysit the boys, both women were excited for what the night might hold, it would be a beautiful night for them. Jen was already downstairs, she had a blue plaid dress on with blue pumps to match it, her hair down with waves in it from when she did her hair the night before, 'you almost ready babe?' Jen said yelling out to her, 'yeah, just a second!' Mia yelled out getting her last earring on and getting up after. Mia walked down the stairs in a red almost black dress, with matching heels, and her hair down, curled, she looked amazing, and when Jen saw her she took her breath away, she was flawless. 'You look amazing' Jen said, almost forgetting how to talk, 'thank you baby' Mia responded, smiling brightly, completely in love with Jen. A couple minutes later, they were out the door on the way to the ball, they walked in smiling because of how confident they felt with each other, Mia talked to some co workers, eventually Jen asked Mia to dance, by which they did, Jen dipped Mia a couple times which made her smile, but after the event was over they decided to do something before going home. They got tattoo of each others names in one another's hand writing, both on their arms and in the same place, it made them happy because they were happy. They got home and they ended the night just as they planned, it was an amazing night for the two women.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. don't do this</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After the night at the ball, everything comes to a turning point.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mia and Jen had a long night after the snow ball, the boys were asleep by the time they got home, the next morning after that night they woke up next to each other, clothes on the floor from the night before, next to each others bodies, and had talks with each other before getting out of bed, fixing each other breakfast and moving to the couch together, waiting for the boys to come downstairs with them. Charlie was almost 7 and Henry was about to turn 5 soon since their birthdays were close, Mia was excited for it, but this wasn't just a normal day for them, Jen had thought about breaking things off with Mia for a couple weeks now, she was just scared to, they were happy, just not sure if they were as happy as they thought. </p><p>Jen decided to talk to Mia that night, terrified of what might happen, she loved her, she just didn't want to hurt her because she felt like she needed a break, and Mia was codependent, but Jen loved her for who she was, she just felt like a break was the best option for them. That night felt off and the energy hurt, they just weren't ready to leave each other, but this was just the beginning. 'Babe, can we talk?' Jen asked Mia, quietly trying not to wake up the boy's, 'yeah, of course' Mia responded, she was scared, 'what is it babe?' she asked, looking at Jen, scared of what this conversation might lead to, 'I-I just think we need a break' Jen said, her voice trembling, 'Jen? Are you breaking up with me?' Mia asked, crying, feeling like her heart got ripped out of her chest, she was heartbroken. 'Yes,' Jen responded, 'I'm so sorry' she said, Mia didn't know how to react, so she left crying, and slammed the door, 'shit' Jen said, crying, and ran after Mia, 'please, don't go' Jen said at Mia's car window, Mia immediately drove off, heartbroken, after Jen came back inside, she sobbed, and Mia drove away from the house, and sobbed in her car, they were both hurt beyond belief, it hurt because they still loved each other, not for the reasons Jen had. But this was just the beginning of their relationship.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. until the sky turns gray.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>after the events of Mia and Jen's breakup, one thing leads to another.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>What happened with Mia and Jen breaking up was brutal, without one another they were shells of themselves, Jen regretted hurting her, she couldn't live with herself, but Mia felt like without Jen she might as well have even existed, Jen was the only one who truly understood her. Regardless of her flaws. Mia went to her best friend and mom for this, she didn't know how to feel, she truly felt like Jen was her soulmate, her better half, the one person who truly loved her. She cried every day after Jen left her, those were the best 6 months of her life, and she wanted a lifetime, so did Jen, even though she was scared to admit it. Mia's friend gave her the idea of going to Jen's house, so she took her shot. </p><p>Jen saw Mia outside, the moment she left from inside of her house, it started raining, 'what are you doing here Mia?! It's pouring!' Jen said, under the roof of her house yelling out to Mia, 'I still love you regardless as to what you might think of me, you made me feel things I haven't felt with anyone else, you made me feel comfortable with being myself and loving who I was, I wanna be everything to you and more, I wanna be a mother to the boy's, I wanna wake up to you every day, I wanna call you mine again' Mia said, yelling out in the rain, without any question, Jen ran to her and kissed her in the rain, being with each other felt like home. They were each other's home but one setback wouldn't stop them from being with each other, they were willing to fight for each other without giving up, loving one another was all they needed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. paper rings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia and Jen's relationship comes to an exciting turn.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mia and Jen had been dating for 3 and a half years by now, Jen was 29, and Mia was 28, and their boys were 10 and 8, they became a family in those 3 years, they were used to having each other around, Mia had a well paying job and so did Jen, they both were business women like you'd expect, but that day wasn't like any regular day, Jen had decided she wanted to propose to Mia. Usually, Mia was home when it was still sunny outside but about to get dark, so Jen had time. Jen put rose petals all the way to the living room where she wanted to pop the question. Mia wore dresses with a big black coat and heels, had her purse and had her car keys with her every day, and was in a routine, so Jen knew what time she usually got home. Jen waited for her car to pull up, immediately hiding the ring box behind her back. 'Babe, I'm home!' Mia yelled out, putting her car keys and purse down while walking in, having her shoes clap against the floor as she walked, and noticed rose petals leading to the living room, which she followed. </p><p>'What's all this?' Mia said looking around questioning what might happen, looking like a dork, not noticing the ring behind Jen's back, Jen slowly walked over to her, ready to give her a speech, 'Mia Rose Delaney, I have loved you since the day we met, you helped me accept I was a lesbian, and I hope I did the same for you' Jen said sweetly, Mia smiling as she had come to terms with her sexuality and being a lesbian too, which made her happy she mentioned it, 'I want you to feel loved and accepted, I want to feel your life with love and happiness, like you've made me feel the last 3 years, I wanna wake up expecting you next to me, without you I don't know what I would do,' Jen said to Mia while smiling, as she started tearing up out of happiness, 'will you marry me, Mia?' Jen said, pulling the ring out from behind her back and opening the box, seeing Mia cry out of happiness, 'yes, yes, a million times yes! Of course!' Mia said, crying out of happiness and kissing Jen immediately, then hugging her after. The boys soon after ran in excitement to hug them both and have a group hug, they were about to become a family, which made them all extremely happy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. cornelia street</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jen and Mia come to an amazing point in their relationship.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been exactly a year since Jen and Mia got engaged, Jen had just turned 30 and Mia was 29, but the day finally came and they finally decided a date, they both were so extremely excited, every time Mia showed off her engagement ring she squealed in excitement, and Mia soon after her engagement, proposed to Jen, they both had picked out their wedding dresses with their friends, Mia was so excited, so was Jen, no one had ever seen them this happy, and the boys, now 11 and 9, were so happy to see them both of them so excited. Mia wanted to be with Jen since she was in high school, but the day at the bar when she was 23 and Jen was 24, changed them forever, after deciding to be together and dating for 6 months and getting tattoos of each others names, they broke up when Mia was 24 and Jen was 25, 3 and a half years later they got engaged at 28 and 29, and now being 30 and 29, they're getting married, they grew with each other after their first breakup, Mia wanted to be the best mother possible for the boys, and she was ready to be a parent.</p><p>They were so excited and happy to get married,Mia had on her long, lace white wedding dress with short vail, white flowers in her hair with it curled, she was so excited, but nervous. When the realization hit her, she smiled, she was so happy. When the time finally came for them to get married, they were so excited, and had decided on a beach wedding, it was so exciting, Mia squealed with her friends, 'this is the last day I'm single guys before i'm a married woman' and saying 'I'm getting married' excitedly, she was so happy, Jen on the other hand was nervous, but her mom and dad were there to keep her calm saying everything is gonna be okay, but she walked the end of the aisle with less nervousness once she remembered who she was marrying, she waited for Mia, but when she saw her, she took her breath away, and when Mia saw Jen in a lace dress with a lace belt, she almost forgot how to breathe. Mia smiled brightly while looking at Jen near the end of the aisle, she really was getting married, and the reality was setting in. When they were asked to say each other's vows to one another by their pastor, Jen said hers first.</p><p>   'Mia, you were the first person to ever accept me for who I was,' she started, 'to love me regardless of our situation because you loved me wholeheartedly, you never gave up on me, even during that time we broke up, you fought for me, I love you more than I could even put into words.' she said, seeing Mia tear up in front of her, 'thank you for accepting me' she ended off, seeing Mia have a single tear run down her face, sniffling, but smiling with love in her eyes. Mia was then asked to say her vows. 'Jennifer, I have loved you since I laid my eyes on you, I always pictured myself with you back in high school, but when I saw you at that bar when I was 23, I knew immediately I wanted to be with you, I want to call you mine.' she said, sniffling, tearing up out of happiness, 'I wake up every day expecting you next to me, I hate sleeping alone, but I can't picture my life without you, I love you Jen, I don't think I'll ever stop loving you.' Mia said, crying of happiness. 'I now pronounce you wife and wife, you may kiss the bride!' the pastor said, they kissed, smiling, they were officially married, and that made them so happy. </p><p>    After everything, their closest family and friends said how happy they were for them. The night ended with dancing, Mia wore a lace white pantsuit with heels, and Jen wore a short lace white dress with heels, they danced together on every song, Mia cuddled up close to Jen during the slow songs, sometimes kissing her, and Jen occasionally spinning her around having her end up in her arms, having Mia laugh cutely. They sometimes sat around and talked to people, opened gifts, and just danced, but eventually the night ended, they drove off in their new car leaving Henry and Charlie with their grandparents, but no aunts or uncles as neither had siblings. The night ended with them having an amazing night, but long, intimate, and sexual night, when getting to their wedding hotel room. It was an amazing and long night, waking up next to each others bodies was the best feeling. They were the happiest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. everything is blue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia and Jen go on their honeymoon.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jen and Mia had just gotten married, it felt surreal, they couldn’t catch on to the fact they were married, but it was amazing. Waking up naked cuddled in each other’s arm’s, was the safest they had ever felt together, Mia woke up first of course, smiling at her now wife, then looking down at her hand to see her wedding ring. She couldn’t stop smiling, but then she remembered that her and Jen were in a honeymoon sweet of a hotel they went to before their flight to Hawaii. Mia being the person she was, didn’t want to wake Jen, but she knew they had to pack, but she knew she had to, ‘babe, wake up, we gotta pack!’ she said softly, Jen slowly woke up, ‘well good morning to you too’ Jen said, smiling, looking at Mia as she was slightly bent over looking down on Jen, they both smiled, and kissed. Mia pulled away slowly, ‘now come on let’s get dressed and start packing!’ Mia said getting out of bed, putting on her clothes. Jen soon after did the same, they packed, and left to go on their way to the airport, they’d be gone for 2 weeks, which is probably the longest Jen spent from the boys, but she knew they’d be fine with both Mia and Jen’s parents.</p><p>After a 10 hour flight, Jen and Mia finally had made it to the resort. They went to their honeymoon sweet that they had booked months before, it was beautiful. Mia was about to have her 30th birthday soon so Jen decided to take her out dancing to enjoy her last couple weeks being in her 20s. The first night she had worn a tight fitting, short dark blue dress made of silk that was off the shoulder with spaghetti straps to wear one night, it fit her amazingly, she looked beautiful. Night two she wore a blush low hem, wrap around, spaghetti strap dress, which looked amazing on her. She looked amazing in anything. Night three she wore a backless white dress with small cuts near her boobs, which looked absolutely stunning on her that night. The last night she went with a white lace dress with a cut out near her one of her legs and tight around her waist, as her and Jen were going on a date night later after. They were both so happy, probably the happiest they had ever been. Waking up next to each other was the best feeling, they smiled every time they saw each other. They could barely contain themselves around one another, their relationship was just as amazing as when they started dating. </p><p>Near the time their honeymoon was coming to an end, the day after Jen and Mia had slept together, they were talking about a family, cuddled up to one another, sometimes Jen rubbing through Mia’s hair to feel closer to her. After that long conversation Mia had gotten out of bed and put on her silk and lace pjs, they were talking about having a baby at that time, which Mia had always wanted to get pregnant and become a mom, after that conversation they had decided that after the trip Mia wanted to get inseminated, she was so excited, she had wanted this for years, and it had made her extremely happy that she could have that with Jen. Mia had a cute moment where she squealed at the thought of being a mom and even said ‘I’m gonna be a mom!’ even though she wasn’t even expecting yet, it made Jen fall more deeply in love with her, especially seeing her so happy.</p><p>A couple days later, they had woken up next to each other like usual, cuddled up to one another’s body, being as close as possible because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. During their talk, Mia mentioned for the first time how she can let her guard down around Jen. Jen immediately let herself tell Mia how she had also felt, and told Mia how she could be herself around her, saying those feelings showed their vulnerability, and had brought them closer together. Mia, being the person she was, loving Jen the way she did, said ‘really?’ in a cute, but questionable way, Jen immediately responded with a yes and explained how she felt about her wife, after they got soft for another and kissed. It was beautiful. And you can probably guess what happened next. But they loved being intimate with one another, as they felt it brought them closer together than they already were. </p><p>Since they got married, Mia said ‘my wife’ in every sentence and constantly looked down at her ring. It was adorable. But eventually they had to leave Hawaii to go back home to Charlie and Henry, Mia had worn a black flowery sun dress with sunflowers on them and a beach hat, Jen had worn the same thing except with daisies but white. They were so ready to leave, Mia was so excited to be a mom. But this was only the beginning for them. And their future with one another.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. into your arms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia and Jen’s relationship changes after a traumatic event happens to Mia, and they begin trying for a baby.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mia had always felt close to her grandfather, she could tell him anything, even when she came out as a lesbian to him, he remained supportive, loving her through everything, he was really and truthfully the only person who really understood Mia for who she was, never judged her once which was comforting, but one phone call changed her entire life. He had a stroke and had to be put in the hospital, after the call Jen walked in and saw Mia upset, Mia let herself be upset around Jen. Jen let Mia cry until she felt comfortable speaking about it, ‘he had a stroke’ Mia said, still crying, ‘hey, don’t worry he’ll be okay’ Jen said, brushing away her tear away, ‘it was pretty bad though-‘ Mia said, stopping what she was saying, breaking down even more, living without someone who meant that much to her was the most painful thing she had ever felt. Jen continued hugging Mia, ‘let it all out, it’ll be okay’ Jen said, comforting her, Mia breaking down even more, holding her tighter with every thought. Eventually Henry and Charlie came in their room, concerned for their now mom, ‘mom? you okay?’ they both asked, concerned, ‘yeah, I’m okay’ she said, putting on a brave face, wiping away her tears, they didn’t have to ask, they knew she wasn’t okay, they immediately hugged her, not knowing what was happening, by then Mia had just turned 30 and Jen was 31, but the boys were 12 and 10, they didn’t know what was happening. All they knew is that their mom was crying and definitely needed a hug, something that made her feel better with being a mother to them. But after the boys left Mia continued crying, Jen had kissed Mia, knowing when Mia was vulnerable, those kisses had meant the world to her. </p><p>Two weeks went by since that phone call, Mia was wondering what could happen on a day to day basis, she was stressed, he was the only person in Mia’s family who properly understood her, besides Jen of course. But it was antagonizing, waiting to know, scared of what might happen, waiting for a call on if he was okay was the hardest thing. Mia felt empty, almost broken every day no one called. But the day she got the call back, she felt like she was in slow motion, everything just stopped for a moment. Then it happened. She got the call, without hesitation, she grabbed her keys, ran down the stairs, and told Jen ‘we gotta go, now’ Mia said, without hesitation, she drove fast getting to the hospital, the tires on her white Porsche squealed as she stopped in front of the hospital, running inside as Jen followed behind her, ‘I need to see Jacob Delaney’ she said, soon after she was directed to the room he was in, she ran in heels, having her big black coat move as she ran, not even caring if Jen couldn’t catch up, eventually getting to the room, he flatlined, Mia lost control in that moment, she fell to the ground, sobbing, feeling completely heartbroken, losing the only person who truly understood her was the hardest thing she had ever felt.‘no, no, no’ ‘I didn’t even get to say goodbye’ Mia said, sobbing, having Jen hold her close, stroking her hair, ‘he was the only person who understood me’ she said, sobbing, Jen holding her close as she had her hands wrapped around Jen’s arms, Jen let Mia be vulnerable and cry, Jen let Mia hug her during the funeral, which made her feel safe, Jen was there for her, but that truly did traumatize Mia. She was heartbroken. </p><p>Jen gave Mia time before they started trying for a baby, she didn’t want her to stress out during the insemination process. Jen was 31 and Mia had just turned 30, but Jen just couldn’t conceive again, it was hard for them. They had been married 6 months by that point, going on 7 months, but eventually when Mia was ready they started trying for a baby. </p><p>After starting the insemination process, Mia showed most signs of being pregnant, especially throwing up, but when Jen was at home one day, Mia decided to take a test, many of them. Jen and Mia decided to flip the tests over together, excited to see what could happen. But when they flipped them over, they got more excited about the tests that had said positive, none were false. In shock, Mia looked at Jen, she smiled, looking down at all the positive tests, ‘we’re having a baby!’ Mia said, excitedly, hugging Jen immediately, they both smiled in happiness, soon after kissing each other sweetly, they were about to become a family. Which made Mia happy, as she never truly felt like a parent to the boys, even though she hated to admit it. But she was happy, especially to tell the boys about the pregnancy. They were so happy. They couldn’t wait to have a little them running around, they felt truly happy. And couldn’t wait to find out what they may be having or when their little one may be born. They were the happiest they had ever been.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. loving you was red</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia and Jen’s plan to start a family comes to a devastating turn. tw for miscarriages and blood.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day started off like any other, Mia and Jen cuddled up in bed together, talking to each other and to the baby, keeping each other tight, while smiling at Mia’s growing belly, which was small, but adorable, she was so happy to start a family with Jen. ‘I wake up every day expecting you next to me, Jen, I can’t live without you, or the boys’ Mia said, during a conversation, she couldn’t imagine her life without them, and having a new baby coming along the way, made her the happiest, she was the happiest she had truly ever been. It was a normal day for them, or so they thought. </p><p>Mia had been experiencing really bad cramps that day, but brushed it off as she thought it was apart of the pregnancy, her morning sickness wasn’t even as bad as normal, and she had been spotting, by which she all thought was normal and brushed it off. She had been getting something later that day and was walking in the kitchen, but at one point she had gotten an extremely bad cramp in her stomach, holding her hand on the table, while closing her eyes and groaning in pain and agony, ‘I’m fine’ she said, brushing it off like any other thing, once again thinking this thing in pregnancy was normal. When Jen and Mia had been going to bed, Mia lifted up her shirt for Jen to take a picture of her bump, and then had Jen take a picture of that special moment. But what was scary is how when Mia found out she was pregnant, Jen and Mia’s relationship changed, and shifted in a scary way, but they didn’t know that could be the reason their relationship took the most devastating turn. </p><p>Mia woke up that night, in pain with bad cramps, and looked down, noticing she had started her period, immediately woke Jen up, ‘Jen, I’m bleeding’ she said in fear, Jen helped her out of the house, after that they went to the hospital, in that moment was when Mia’s world collapsed, she had a miscarriage, she was sobbing immediately at the loss, Jen hugging her tightly, letting her sob in her arms. </p><p>Mia cried the way home, Mia didn’t even looking at Jen but instead looking out the window, almost lifeless. What Jen didn’t know was Mia was about to end their marriage after 9 months, and Mia had lost the baby at 8 weeks, she was heartbroken and just couldn’t do their marriage anymore, even though she loved Jen. She was the most hurt she had ever been. Jen was her person, leaving her and even the thought made her cry harder. She loved her, but it was too much for Mia to handle. She didn’t want to admit it but she could never stop loving Jen, even if she tried. </p><p>Mia and Jen walked inside, Mia sobbing, walking into the kitchen, Mia broke, ‘Jen, I-I want a divorce’ she said, crying, having tears run down her face in that moment, ‘I can’t do this anymore, I can’t do us, I still love you, but this is just completely too much for me to handle, I’ll be there for the boys if I need to but I can’t do this anymore’ Mia said, sobbing, without a second thought, Jen hugged her, letting Mia sob in her arms while she was holding back tears, trying to act like the love of her life didn’t just say the most heart wrenching thing in the world, Mia and Jen truly were soulmates, but Mia losing the baby was a lot for the both of them. After sobbing and finally looking up, Mia saw the boys, crying she said, ‘me and your mom are getting a divorce, so I might not be here for a bit, or as often,’ she said, telling Charlie who had just turned 13, and Henry who was 11, that the person who gave them the best mom they could ask for, was leaving and divorcing their mom, but telling them about the miscarriage was too hard for Mia then, she couldn’t even say the word out loud, she was heartbroken, but she knew she had to leave. She hugged the boys tightly, telling Jen that the boys could call her anytime they wanted. Mia grabbed her purse, car keys, and then left, leaving Henry and Charlie hugging their mom, crying. Jen called Mia’s mom immediately, ‘tell Mia she can come home’ she said, still having a teary voice. </p><p>Mia got in her car, immediately she began sobbing, hitting the steering wheel, mad at herself, and kept sobbing. She immediately got flashbacks to every moment with Jen, when they got together, everything. Mia had a flashback to when Jen first asked her how far along she was in the pregnancy, ‘6 weeks’ played in her head, she got flashbacks to when she was screaming excitedly with her friends in front of the bridal shop that she was getting married, going dress shopping with her mom and being told ‘you’re getting married’ while trying on dresses, when she told her friends she was expecting, every memory from when she was pregnant to the wedding, to getting married, everything came rushing back in that moment. At that time, Mia’s mom had called, ‘hello?’ Mia said, sounding like she had been crying, ‘Mia, I need you to come home.’ Mia’s mom had said on the phone, Mia couldn’t answer, but instead pulled herself together, and began driving herself to her moms. Her life had just changed beyond belief, Jen and Mia were hurt, and lost, but this was just the beginning.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. ghost of you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia and Jen go through the aftermath of their divorce and everything with it. You will meet Jen’s mom Emily (Sophia Bush), Mia’s mom Madison (Jennifer Aniston), Mia’s love interest Danielle (Danielle Savre), and Jen’s love interest Judy Hale (Linda Cardellini). Everything comes to a turning point for Jen and Mia.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Mia’s mom called she rushed to her moms house, not expecting much as their relationship had been damaged in the past. As soon as Mia walked in the door she immediately hugged her mom and started sobbing, she lost her family, and herself. ‘It’s okay’ Madison reassured her, holding her tightly as Mia sobbed uncontrollably. Madison understood her situation immediately and let Mia stay at her house for a couple days, her daughter was broken at that point so she didn’t know what else to do besides comfort her and be there for her. Mia went partying every night, she drank away that void inside of her. Madison saw Mia out on the beach outside of her house, she knew Mia was upset but was too scared to go out there, the next thing she knew was taking off both her engagement ring and wedding ring, never giving it a second thought and throwing it into the ocean. She was done, heartbroken to say the least. Mia cried every night at her moms, feeling as though after Jen she couldn’t even bother having a relationship with her mom let alone anyone else. </p><p>But one night at a party, Mia was dancing and slipped and fell into a girl named Danielle’s arms, ‘hi’ Danielle said, unintentionally catching her, ‘hi!’ Mia said, not knowing someone would catch her, eventually after that they ended up dancing together but the tensions were high, so they kissed. Eventually they got together, Mia knew it felt like a rebound but she was too scared to say it, because of course, she was happy, but too afraid to admit she still loved Jen, even though they had decided to stay friends for the sake of the boys and their relationship. </p><p>Jen on the other hand, she took it worse, she had to call her mom Emily to take care of the boys after Mia had decided to divorce a couple hours earlier. When Emily came inside after what happened with Mia the boys hugged her immediately, sobbing, ‘what happened?’ she said, questioning what had happened to make them so upset, ‘Mia wants a divorce’ Jen said, sobbing, Emily immediately hugged her. Jen was sad for days on end up until she met Judy, she was a rebound and even the boys noticed, on both ends, they knew their moms were soulmates, even Madison and Emily noticed but especially the boys, Mia called as much as she could to check on the boys, which made them happy, but neither of them reacted well to the divorce, everyone believed they were soulmates. Even Jen and Mia, deep down. But this was their life now. One they didn’t like even though they hated to admit it.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. never enough for you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>both Jen and Mia’s rebound relationships come to a turning point that leaves them heartbroken.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Danielle and Mia had been dating for five months, they seemed perfect since Mia was happy, but that wasn’t at all the case. This relationship didn’t feel like it did with Jen, she felt trapped, but she was just too scared of saying it. She loved Danielle but nothing could have possibly prepared her for what could have happened near the end. </p><p>Mia called the boys every chance she had, even at work, they’d say I miss you over the phone and every time they didn’t see Mia their hearts hurt more than they could even bother to explain, they missed their mom. So did Jen, but she was with Judy now and Mia was with Danielle. They missed each other every day. Waking up next to someone else that wasn’t each other felt wrong and antagonizing, because it wasn’t each other. They were rebounding, they knew it, Jen knew it, Mia knew it, Danielle knew it, but especially the boys. One night Jen walked by the boys room, not expecting them to hear them talking about Mia, how much they missed her, and that they knew that Jen and Mia were rebounding because they could feel it, Jen stayed quiet after that night, pushed it back so that she wouldn’t have to deal with the fact she was in love with Mia, still, even though it had been a year since the divorce. They needed each other. </p><p>But what they didn’t know is that Emily was planning to have Jen take Judy to an event where there’s drinks and dancing, and inviting Mia to take Danielle there. Emily wanted them to be together just as bad as anyone, she was probably their biggest fan besides the boys. She loved Mia and was grateful that Jen found her, but seeing them apart hurt more than she could explain. She knew they were soulmates too. But this was the perfect time to have them to see each other again. </p><p>Emily wore a blue dress that was silk, off the shoulder, and long with heels, Mia wore a red short lace dress with black heels, Jen wore a tight fitting black dress, Judy wore a floral long dress and Danielle wore a red tight fitting dress. They were so excited to go, especially Mia, she was excited to see the boys again, but she had no idea that Jen would be there. She just expected to see Emily and the boys. But as soon as she got there she hugged the boys and told them she missed them, same with Emily. But she saw Jen with Judy and her heart dropped. How Mia was then she immediately got a glass of champagne and chugged it, later in the night everyone started dancing and Mia tripped and fell into Jen’s arms, her whole world stopped for a moment, but Danielle noticed how Mia looked at Jen and got jealous. When Mia walked over to her Danielle immediately asked her what that was, Mia said nothing immediately but Danielle began trying to initiating a fight, but to shut it down Mia had to say can we not talk about this right now to Danielle and be blunt, even though she was already emotional then and had downed a few drinks. Mia knew Danielle wasn’t the one for her, Danielle even hated the boys because she believed that after the divorce that they weren’t still a family, which hurt Mia more than words. By which she just asked Danielle if they could leave. </p><p>Mia changed in the car because she didn’t want to wait to get home, she had on black high heel booties with jeans and a black crop top and black leather jacket on, but by the time her and Danielle got home they had their biggest fight, Mia yelled at how she never felt good enough, how much she loved the boys, but the moment Danielle had asked her if she was still in love with Jen, it changed everything, she said yes, and in that moment everything had changed. Danielle had enough, ‘we’re done’ she said, Danielle ran out of the door leaving Mia heartbroken, she slammed the door and slid her back against the door, after she immediately broke down, wishing she could’ve changed everything in that moment. She began sobbing, meanwhile Jen and Judy had just broken up as Judy left Jen. There wasn’t just one heart broken that day, there were four.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. never let me go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia decides to make a life altering decision.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Danielle broke up with Mia, she was heartbroken, laying against her apartment door, sobbing, but her intuition wasn’t telling her to run after Danielle, or try to fix their relationship, it was to be with Jen. Judy left Jen the same night by walking out, because Judy knew that she was in love with Mia still. So walking out was the best for both of them. Even though they were both heartbroken, left crying to gather their own thoughts. Mia’s only thought was to be with Jen that night, so she got her car keys, still crying, and drove to Jen’s. ‘Jen?’ she said yelling with a shaky voice, as soon as Jen walked over to her without question, she hugged her, she knew she was upset. Mia soon began crying, holding Jen as tightly as she could, Jen rubbing her back for comfort. Seeing Mia this vulnerable did something to her she could never explain. When Mia stopped crying for a moment, she had looked into Jen’s eyes, having her wipe away her tears. In that moment, Mia gave in completely, she was vulnerable. She started kissing Jen without hesitation, she missed her lips, her body, everything about her. In a singular second that kiss brought back the memory of when Mia was at her most vulnerable during their relationship, she remembered the time Jen came in the shower with her when she was alone with her thoughts, sad and at her most vulnerable state, they had kissed in the shower before, when they did, it was the most Mia has let her guard down in front of anyone, even being together for 2 years at the time. </p><p>Mia leaned into the kiss more, which deepened the feelings she had been holding back, they began making out, which had them pushing one another against the wall, soon Jen took off Mia’s jacket and threw it against the ground, they kissed each other deeply, fighting for dominance, Mia began unzipping the back of Jen’s dress, but she realized that her head wasn’t in the right place, so she put back on her jacket, grabbed her car keys and left, not saying a word. </p><p>The only place Mia could think of to go to is Emily’s, by the time everything had happened she was already out of her dress and comfortable, not expecting any guests. Then she heard a knock, not expecting it to be Mia. When Mia came in, she immediately hugged Emily and started sobbing, so Emily had decided to try and take care of her and talk out her feelings, Emily being the person she was asked Mia what was wrong the second she walked in, because she cared about her. They had a long talk, Emily mentioned how she know Jen still cares about her, how she got pregnant at 16 by one of her now ex boyfriends and even her experiences with dating girls, Mia telling her that she was the mother she never had, them even laughing a bit at some points, and much more, they felt the closest they had ever felt, Emily even telling her that she can come over at any time or stay as long as she wants, just her being a great human and mother that Mia never had. But the question still was there, ‘are you still in love with Jen?’ Emily asked, Mia looked down for a minute, looking back up at her after being asked, ‘how could I not be? she’s an amazing woman and an even more amazing mom, I miss her and I miss the boys more than I can even care to explain’ she said softly, starting to cry. She missed how things used to be more than anything. She wanted to have a baby and to start over completely with Jen, she was completely open with Emily. She wanted to have the life she deserved. </p><p>Jen called Madison to come over, they had the same talk, which of course Madison was very blunt and straightforward, but she wanted to ask if Jen had still been in love with Mia, ‘are you still in love with Mia?’ she asked, ‘she’s the only person who truly understands me, even though we’re still friends because of the boys I want more than that, I just want her, to be with her, I wake up every day expecting her to be next to me and when she isn’t my whole world just feels like it’s falling apart,’ she said, crying, knowing Mia had been trying to fill the void that Jen wasn’t there, and that she couldn’t wake up to someone she was deeply in love with each other. But being together, they’d have to figure out on their own, maybe even with some help of a few people. They were still in love with each other. Deeply in love with each other. Not having each other in their lives was the hardest things they could ever do. Their love wasn’t easy, but they were soulmates, you can never deny the love they had for each other, even during those 4 years, it was unconditional.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. meet me at midnight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia looks back on her and Jen’s past together as teens.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mia was still at Emily’s a couple days after that kiss, still trying to take everything in, she loved Jen, more than words could even bother to describe. She was 31 by now, it had been a year since the divorce and she was still deeply in love with Jen. She met Jen at 23 and once they got together her life changed. Jen had been in love with Mia since high school, so had Mia, Jen had just turned 32 and it was the first year she didn’t wake up next to Mia telling her happy birthday. It hurt. On Mia’s birthday she expected Jen to be next to her, but she wasn’t. After the divorce and losing the baby, Mia dyed her hair with pink highlights, started drinking and partying more. But she got a back tattoo saying Lily Mae  on her because that’s what they were going to name her. Even knowing then it was too early to tell. They just knew. </p><p>That night Mia stood on the balcony, looking down at the city, but everything came back to her in a split second. Jen and Mia used to be enemies in high school, not knowing exactly what to do with the feelings they had for each other. So they drag raced, Mia won of course which just made the tensions higher. But eventually Mia had to come to terms with her own sexuality, she was a lesbian, and so was Jen, but with them not knowing how to deal with compulsory heterosexuality, they had a few bad relationships, they tried to be their friends definition of normal, they were rich kids, so they were expected to be everything they weren’t. No matter what happened. Mia was also the party girl, the one who hadn’t found herself yet due to the fact her parents were never really there. But at one point during a football game, Mia and Jen made out behind the stands where their parents couldn’t see them, they really did love each other, even though they try to hide that. They snuck around for a majority of the time they were in high school. But eventually with them helping each other they came out to their parents, both of them crying in their moms arms. They could finally be themselves. No more hiding who they were. But them only being out to their parents but too afraid to be in a relationship with one another hurt, especially having their friends not know. Which was hard for them. They wanted to be like every other couple in that school. But couldn’t. </p><p>One night at one of the games, they admitted their feelings in front of everyone, and kissed in front of the entire school, in the rain. They didn’t care who saw, they loved each other. It didn’t matter anymore. After that they started dating, Jen asking Mia out, they spent the holidays together, summer, anything you could guess. They kissed at the lockers at school, spent Christmas together, they really did everything together, basically bound to one another. But eventually it rolled around time for them to go to college, so they broke up, that was the hardest thing they ever went through together, especially then. </p><p>By then, Mia was tearing up looking at the city, the cars, everything, Emily asked if she was okay, and Mia turned around, immediately hugging her, sobbing. ‘I still love her’ she said, holding Emily as tight as she could while crying. Emily rubbing her back to comfort her, ‘I know, now this is your chance, get her back’ Emily said, sweetly. Still holding her tightly. </p><p>Emily was close to Mia, because she used to be the same person she was back in high school, the party girl, even having a bit of a bad girl phase before she got pregnant with Jen. They both had a past. One they weren’t proud of. But that’s because they made mistakes that they weren’t proud of. They were someone they just weren’t. But their past doesn’t define them. It never will. Even when Mia was younger she wanted to be a mom but Jen and the boys meant more to her than she could have ever known, she wanted her family back. She wanted Emily to still be the mom she wished she had. Mia had to deal with her past with Jen, she didn’t know how to yet. Her past didn’t define her. It didn’t define any of them. It was up to them to accept that fact even if they didn’t want to. It made them who they are.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. kiss me in the moonlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia and Jen come to realize they still love each other.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mia was still at Emily’s still, thinking about Jen. She wanted to be with her. No matter what happened. That was her person and she knew it. Even questioning it sounded stupid. She knew it in her heart Jen was her person. No questions asked. </p><p>At Emily’s Mia sat in her kitchen, questioning if she should go after the love of her life. No longer pretending, or if she should just sit there. Emily was already at Jen’s with the boys, even with Jen there. Mia called her usually expecting her to pick up. Emily was in the boys room so Jen couldn’t hear them. ‘Emily, do I get her back?’ she said on the phone with a shaky voice. ‘I say listen to your heart, don’t spend one moment not thinking you don’t deserve this or that you don’t deserve her, because you do’ Emily said, reassuring her, ‘thank you’ Mia said, sweetly. ‘Now go get your girl.’ Emily said without hesitation. </p><p>In that moment Mia got up, grabbed her car keys, and got to Jen’s house. Not waiting one moment to say how she felt. Not holding herself back from what she deserves, and what she wants. Mia knocked on the door and Jen answered. ‘What are you doing here?’ Jen asked, Mia immediately walking inside. ‘Can we just stop pretending?’ Mia said, not holding back even for a moment. ‘Because I’m getting tired of pretending like I’m not completely in love with you, like my heart doesn’t skip a beat whenever I see you or that I forget how to breathe when I’m around you, that I don’t wake up every day expecting to feel you next to me, that kiss didn’t mean nothing. I miss you, I miss the boys more than anything, I miss when we were a family.’ Mia said to Jen. Not wanting to say anything that she didn’t feel. After the party girl Mia became, even losing herself and dying her hair pink and then dying it back to blonde, she found herself, she found what she wanted, and what she wanted was Jen. She wanted the family she built back. ‘Shut up’ Jen said, moments before kissing her. The memories of Christmas with the boys, snowball fights back in Utah, Emily getting broken up with by her girlfriend and Mia comforting her, along with every moment they spent together as a family, even on movie nights when Henry fell asleep next to Mia or when they were a happy family came back. But of course Emily, Charlie and Henry were eavesdropping and all said ‘yes’ at the same time happily, Mia and Jen laughed, ‘come on!’ Mia said, telling them to come down the stairs, the boys immediately hugging Mia, ‘welcome home’ Jen said, Emily soon after. They all smiled, happy to be a family again.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. trying to begin again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia and Jen try to start their relationship over again.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jen and Mia had a happy relationship, they were finally able to be with each other again so it meant more to them than they could have ever thought possible. Mia picked up the boys from school like every other day and then as soon as she got home and walked into her and Jen’s room, looked in her closet and imagined how her life could’ve been. She completely broke down there. Jen walking in seeing Mia upset broke her in so many ways. She knew how much Mia wanted to be a mom. How much it hurt her that she couldn’t. Jen came up behind her and kissed her neck sweetly, ‘what’s wrong babe?’ she asked, trying not to act like she didn’t see the tattoo on her back because she wanted to let her explain it on her own without pushing her. ‘I wanna be a mom’ she said, sniffling, as she turned around to look at Jen. ‘do you wanna try again?’ Jen asked, ‘I do, I really do. But I’m scared, what if I can’t conceive again, what if I can’t get pregnant?’ Mia said crying again, looking at Jen with tears in her eyes. ‘you will be able to get pregnant, I don’t doubt that for a minute.’ Jen said, reassuring her, letting her crying in her arms while she held her tightly. ‘I love you’ Mia said, sweetly. Without question Jen kissed her, giving her the reassurance she needed and deserved. After Mia walked out, Jen asked about the tattoo she had on her back of a small lily flower and the name lily mae on it, she told her she got it after she lost the baby which helped her keep that memory close, Jen hugged her without question, they loved each other, endlessly. </p><p>A couple days after that day they started talking about wanting to have a baby again, both agreed on wanting to try again, to begin their family again without issue, to start their lives again like it was the beginning. They soon began the same process as last time, hoping for no issues, Mia was inseminated again, not giving up hope that it could work. She couldn’t give up that, or try to let it go. But all she knew in that moment was that she wanted to have the family she always wanted with Jen. For the boys to have a little sister or brother, Mia wanted to be a mom more than anything, but she only wanted it with Jen. Never anyone else.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. you broke me first</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jen and Mia go through an unexpected trial in their relationship.</p>
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    <p>It was a regular night for Mia and Jen, they went to sleep cuddled up next to one another like they always do. At 2 am, Mia woke up unexpectedly from a nightmare, Jen turning on the light immediately, ‘what’s wrong?’ Jen asked, ‘I had a nightmare’ Mia replied, still in shock, almost on the verge of tears, ‘what was it about’ Jen asked, ‘I had dreamed that I lost you’ Mia said, immediately breaking down. Jen held her tight and let her cry, she told her it was going to be okay, and that she wasn’t going to lose her. What they didn’t know is that Mia was 4 weeks along in her pregnancy, none of them were prepared for what would happen almost a month later. </p><p>After a week, Jen and Mia got into it for a stupid reason, they were yelling at each other, Mia was pissed, hormonal, and just not her normal self, which made the fight worse. ‘We’re done.’ Jen said, her heart aching. ‘Are you seriously breaking up with me?’ Mia said, yelling back at her, hurt. ‘Leave.’ Jen said, without hesitation, still pissed off, ‘fine.’ Mia said, the most pissed off she had ever been. She got her car keys, purse, and left, slamming the door. </p><p>She drove to Emily’s, of course Emily being the person she was, opened the door as soon as she heard a knock on the door. ‘She broke up with me’ Mia said, hugging her immediately and sobbing. Emily comforted her. This is the most heartbroken she had ever seen Mia in the 4 years she had known her. She never expected them to break up again. But she knew Mia was more emotional than normally. She just didn’t know why. All she knew was seeing her upset, that hurt. Mia was an amazing woman, mom to the boys, and even better when it came to her company. But that broke her. It broke everyone.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. I can always hold you close</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia stays with Emily for a week after the breakup with Jen, little does she know it might be the hardest week of her life.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily let Mia stay over, she knew Mia wasn’t in the right state of mind and that her relationship with her own mother wasn’t the best, so she took care of her, not wanting her to be the party girl she turned into after the divorce. She was crying all the time, at night when Emily was upstairs asleep she would just sob, not even knowing why, but she was expecting and didn’t know it yet, and just got broken up with, how could you blame her. Jen didn’t take that week easy either, after Mia left, she sobbed. Losing her again even over something stupid hurt more than anything, because she loved her. Of course after a couple days they fixed things, they were together, just mad at each other. More hurt than anything. Mia stayed at Emily’s, she didn’t feel safe anywhere else at that moment. But one night Emily caught Mia sobbing on the couch, ‘Mia, are you okay?’ she asked, ‘yeah, I’m fine, just really emotional lately’ she responded, ‘you don’t seem fine’ Emily said, immediately getting on the couch, letting her sob in her arms, ‘let it out, it’s okay, I’m here’ she said reassuring her. ‘are you sure you’re okay?’ Emily asked after she had finally calmed down, ‘I’m sure I’ve just been really emotional lately, I’m just really nauseous and fatigued and I just can’t stop crying’ Mia said, not even sure if she knew what was happening with her. She was 5 weeks pregnant and she didn’t even know it yet. ‘are you sure you’re not pregnant?’ Emily asked, ‘I’m sure’ Mia said starting to question if she was but brushing it off. </p><p>She was constantly sick for the rest of that week, she had mild cramps and spotting but brushed it off like everything else. Emily held her hair every time she did get sick and rubbed her back all while telling her it’s okay. Mia looked at herself one day and imagined being a mom with Jen, she looked at her stomach, wondering what could have been wrong with her, she hated her body so much at times, and after what had happened before she was scared she could never be a mom. She could never have something she always dreamed of. She loved the boys and knew they always wanted a sister or brother, she wanted to have a bigger family. Emily became the mom she never had, even though she loved her mom, and was willing to work on the relationship that had been damaged by her father. She wanted to be the best wife she could be, be the best mom she could be. She wanted to fix all the things in her life that went wrong. But where she was in the next week changed her life for the better.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. one moment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia finds out something life changing.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mia was still at Emily’s, she had been there going on 2 weeks. She had been throwing up every day, brushed off her missed period because she thought it was normal, and had been showing every sign possible that she could be pregnant. But she was, 6 weeks in fact. </p><p>Emily had been partying that night with her friends who had picked her up. Mia threw up that night and remembered that Emily asked her if she was pregnant, not even knowing how to answer of course she said no. She had been sick all day, and of course she was tired and wanted to know why, so she drove to the store to get a couple pregnancy tests, little did she know what that test would say could change her life forever, but for the better, rather than worse. </p><p>She got home immediately, she took at least 5 tests, and waited. That was the most nerve racking 10 minutes of her life. But when the time came to flip the tests over, she was scared. Scared she’d lose the one shot she had at a good future. She flipped the first test over, positive. The test was positive, she couldn’t even believe that it was. She flipped the rest over, positive. They were all positive. She was pregnant. She started crying immediately. ‘I’m pregnant’ she said out loud, crying, ‘I’m having a baby’ she said, trying to pull herself together. But she had to tell Jen. In that moment she put on her jacket, but didn’t grab her car keys, she instead went down to the garage where Emily’s 66 red mustang with a white stripe down the middle was at. She took the cover off of it, got in immediately, and left, closing the garage door after, leaving. What the rest of the night entailed she had no idea, but she was speeding down the highway, hearing the engine roar every time she sped up. By the time she got to Jen’s it was raining, but Mia went out there, not even caring she got her hair wet. She knocked on the door, ‘can I come in?’ she said, talking over the rain, Jen immediately let her in, ‘what are you doing here?’ Jen asked. Mia immediately turned around looking at her, ‘I’m pregnant.’</p>
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